I promised Julie I would make a post about life at my job, since today I was too tired to get into it on the phone, lol. We won't mention the fact that I planned on sharing anyways with ya'll sometime soon. ;)

Things at the office have been pretty interesting so far. I've almost been there for 2 months (just a couple days and it will be 2 months).

For the first month or so on the job, I was given a lot of random things to do...scanning documents, pulling paid claims and putting them in boxes for storage, just random stuff like that. It seemed like once I started to get full swing on one, I ended up being asked to do something else at the same time. In all honesty, it wasn't the most enjoyable thing; I just kept hoping that this was what every new person had to endure and that I would get to a point soon where I'd be given more responsibility. (As everyone who works there has been there for at least 3 years if not more. This place is all about the longevity if you want to stay with them, which is a nice change of pace from Borders where they're always trying to get rid of people. :-p)

Then the day came when I got more responsibility. With that also came stress! LOL. No, not so much project-related stress. I quite enjoyed the work they were giving me. The stress came from the fact that apparently my supervisor was giving me jobs she was never supposed to, that my boss was livid to find out I was basically paper-pushing for the first month or so when that wasn't what I was hired on to do. Next I know, my boss is telling me exactly what to do and woot, it was exactly what I'd been wanting to do full-time (I'd been dabbling in it a day a week or so before that). Basically, it's accounts receivable/accounts payable type of work. That is officially my job now; no more paper-pushing crap for me! hehe

But with the new responsibilities came some interesting things the last couple of weeks. I was given a project by my boss to do -- basically writing off all the hospital payments that were sitting there not done....since 2003. YEAH. Quite a few boxes worth of files there, let alone tons of spreadsheets of payments I'll be working on once I finish the boxes up. BUT I LOVE IT. I really do, it's exactly my type of thing. I'd bring down some folders I'd finished and Melis (one of the managers downstairs and Missy's best friend) would be like, "Damn girl! You are way too quick!" She kept saying that the next few times I brought them down. I was like, "Seriously? It's so funny because I've NEVER done this type of work before so I really can't tell how well or badly I'm doing at it." Melis: "Oh no, you don't have to worry; you're getting this done super quick, trust me." So I kept working on it. Then I ran into my super boss (the doctor) when I was bringing more down and he started asking me how much I'd gotten done so far. I was like, "Well, I did that box there full of patient charts. And now I'm working on these file folders here which begin in 2003 and I'm now in 2004." He gave me this surprised look and said, "You mean to tell me you've only been doing this for a few days and you're already into 2004?" Me blinking, "Um, yes?" The doc: "Wow... that's amazing." He went on to explain to me why this job I was doing was so important to his job and then said, "If you keep working at that pace, I'll be able to get those appraisals done much, much sooner than I thought. Keep up the good work." Then he winked at me and walked over to his office. (He's the sweetest man btw.)

I felt really good after that. I get upstairs and I find out that there's supposed to be an all-staff meeting in 15 mins and no one told me. lol So I'm like "Oh okay" as it was going to be my very first one. For most of the meeting, nothing really pertained to me... there were issues brought up, complaints, stuff like that, no praises really. During the complaints, the billing side of the office I was working with was all, "We need someone else working on the mail every day. We need someone to scan, open the mail, etc etc." At this point I'm thinking, "UH UH...don't you dare look at me! I'm not doing that crap again!" LOL. Then the Dr. goes, "Well Keri, would you be able to do that?" Immediately both my boss and Melis speak up going, "No no no no no!!" My boss says no, she wants me only working on accounts receivable/payable, that she has me working on a very important, big project right now with the hospital payments...but that even after that is finished, she is planning on having me completely catch them up on their write-offs and then maintain it from that point on so they never get behind again like they did. (Hello, 2003.)

At this point, I'm sitting there thinking, "Thank you, God!" because the boss finally said "NO" to me doing that crap my supervisor was assigning me to while I was doing other projects. In fact, my supervisor didn't look happy when all of this was being said. But here's the kicker... after my boss said that, Melis said, "I just want to say too that Keri is seriously kicking ass on writing off those payments. She is going so quick, I'm honestly amazed." And then the doc speaks up and says, "Actually you're right. I got to see some of the work Keri was doing earlier today and I am amazed at it. The speed at which she is doing all of this? I honestly didn't think it was humanly possible."

*bounce bounce bounce* IMAGINE THE PRIDE! And the humility! And the....RISING BLUSH-A-THON. :-p ;)

Honestly? I am...still kind of speechless regarding those compliments. I mean... wow. I've only been here for 2 months and they were giving me such high compliments on my work. I had nothing to base it on, I didn't know how I was really doing, and there's my SUPER boss saying, "She's doing it quicker than I thought was humanly possible." I mean... wow. That was almost a week ago and I'm still reeling from it. :)

It's ironic because before that meeting, I was stressed out for days. Finding out that my boss was livid that I wasn't doing what she meant for me to do all along (although it wasn't my fault and never was implied that it was, it still stressed me out). Feeling in the middle between my supervisor and my boss; not even being sure if I could TRUST my supervisor's orders anymore because of it. It was just a very stressful situation. But that meeting just made me feel so good about the work I was doing that it all faded away.

....For maybe all of 2 days. LOL. :-p

Because what came along with those wonderful compliments? Animosity. Jealousy. Say it with me now: !@(#*!@(*. :-p

Yep. All-staff meeting? Meant the whole staff heard it. Now granted, the girls that are on my side of the office don't really care - mainly because I'm not a part of their system of things and also because they're MUCH more laidback. I wish I was a part of their group actually; I have a feeling things wouldn't be so darn stressful sometimes. But the billing side of the office? (Which now, my supervisor and 3 of those coworkers are next to me in the offices that were previously not occupied the first month...so I include them in that side anyways.) It's been tense.

First sign? A coworker coming to me with something to scan (because she didn't do it right the first time a couple days prior) saying, "Can you help me better?" I remember my eyebrow raising and saying, "Excuse me?" (BETTER?!?) And then she tried to glaze over it by explaining what she needed help with. I let it go. Normally she's cool with me but today I've even noticed her kind of distancing herself.

Second sign? My supervisor telling me there's something my boss wants me to do (same line she's used before) and then saying, "I can show you the email she sent me so you'll know it's from her." Ummmm.... no, that's okay.

However, the biggest sign came yesterday. I get into the office and my supervisor tells me she got an email from my boss...saying that she wants me to take over one of Janet's duties. It's basically taking care of all the checks my boss mails out, keeping record of them, matching them with the invoices, mailing them out...and then dealing with any company that calls asking where the payment is. Basically: accounts payable stuff.

Janet was FURIOUS. And when I say furious, I mean furious. She was all, "I've been doing this for the last 3 years. I know the vendors, they know me. I take care of all the calls. I've been doing this, I don't know WHY they're taking this away from me when I asked for help on the follow-up stuff in the meeting." Oh yeah, FURIOUS. I didn't quite understand why they were giving it to me until two supervisors explained it in the way of that, Janet complained that she had no time to do the follow-up, this was a way of taking something off her plate that she spends too much time on, allowing her to work on follow-up. And as Melis put it to me: "Her job is follow-up. Yours is accounts receivable/payable. It makes sense for you to have the responsibility she held that falls into that area." Once they explained it to me, I admit, it made perfect sense as to why my boss wanted it that way.

Didn't stop Janet from being a frickin' volcano around me all frickin' day! :-p She had to train me and wow was she a piece of work at certain points, getting livid with me over stupid little OCD things that shouldn't matter. I kept thinking, "Geez. Be angry with the boss. But don't be angry with me." She was a frickin' piece of work. I swear. I literally left work yesterday with knots all up my neck and down my shoulders. I was that stressed out from everything that happened.

I came up with an idea yesterday to make the whole check process more time-efficient as well as available to more people. The records of the checks were being kept in a written log...and I kept thinking, "Why in the world isn't this in a spreadsheet on the computer?" Basically, I came up with this whole plan of how to go about that and make it easier and better for everyone...to give a few more people the power to access this information instead of just one person - me (or as it was the past 3 years - Janet).

Today, when I'm bringing down some more folders worth of work done for Melis, I tell her my idea and how I told my supervisor about it - that she said we'd talk to my boss today, but my supervisor was out. Melis looked at me and said, "Keri, if you have an idea, don't tell (supervisor). I'm not trying to badmouth her, I'm trying to protect you. She will take your idea, go to (Boss) with it as if it's her own, then come back to you and say, '(Boss) loved your idea!' making you think (Boss) knows all about how it was your idea, while here she's getting the credit and the pat on the back." I was looking at her like you've got to be frickin' kidding me... nope, she wasn't. So she suggested I email my boss (as I rarely see her given the fact that I leave at 1pm and she comes in later) with the idea, hoping that my supervisor didn't already beat me to the punch yesterday. This way she'll know it's my idea and I'll get the credit and the official yes from her. That my boss loves it when people to come to her personally instead of trickling through the supervisors anyways. So I did... didn't hear back from her today before I left, but hopefully tomorrow.

One other thing I found out: apparently my supervisor went around the whole billing office side a day or two after I started working there and literally told them (in essence) that I was going to be their bitch. Have something you need done, go to Keri. Can't finish something, go to Keri. Just don't want to do it, go to Keri. Yeah. So that's ANOTHER reason why everyone over there isn't happy with me right now: because my supervisor told them one thing and now they're pissed that they don't have me anymore to throw their random crap on. (It was happening, btw. I just never understood why. Until today.)

Then I was talking to one of my coworkers who is the sweetest woman ever... and even she was like, "Keri, they're all jealous of you. You heard those compliments in the meeting. When the Dr said such a nice thing about your work, that was so so good for you. But of course, they're jealous. They try to knock people down in order to make themselves feel better. You just have to learn to tune out the drama and the stress, and you will at some point. Because Keri, trust me, you are doing so good and the bosses are noticing it. You're going to go up and up and up so quickly. You watch and you see. That's why some of those women are acting the way they are; they know it."

It's....so weird. Because on the one hand, I'm totally stressed out by the whole jealousy/animosity factor going on within the workplace right now. I'm just trying to do my job and I'm trying to do it well. I WANT to be a hard worker, I want to be valued...and that's what's happening. But apparently, others don't like that. And I don't like the whole "in the middle" thing that was happening between my boss and my supervisor either (and probably still is happening actually). So...there is this whole half of my job that is truly stressful...and has been showing in me physically in just being so tired lately.

On the other hand, I...am honestly...so proud. And so happy. I've never felt like I could be something better in the workplace before; Borders was really never conducive to that. But here I am, feeling so valued, feeling like I am doing such a great job at what's being thrown at me...watching new, important things being thrown at me because they believe in me and the work I can do. It's...amazing to have only been here for 2 months and to hear a woman who's been here for years say to me that I'm only going to go up and up and it's going to be quickly. It's...so reassuring to hear Melis tell me how awesome I am doing and how my bosses are noticing it. I came into this job as "Missy's sister-in-law", no one really knowing what to expect from me. I came into this job from the interview where the Dr asked me if I was really good at math like my brother...and I told him my brother is great at it, but I'm great at writing and creative things (lol as his big smile kind of went "ohhh" lol)...and then...wow, look at me, I'm excelling in the math related fields - accounts receivable/payable, you can't get more math field than that. So I think I've gone above and beyond the expectations they had for me, and they're liking what they're seeing. Heck, I'm liking what I'm seeing. I really do feel good about the work I'm doing. I'm happy about it. I'm proud of it. And that says something to me.

So now, it just becomes a matter of somehow shutting out the drama and the stress. Missy warned me that there was going to be a ton of drama, but that at some point, you'd learn to just tune it out. Here I thought she must be exaggerating, she wasn't! LOL. ;)

And that, my friends, is my work update. We shall see what transpires next. ;)

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: "Say" by John Mayer

I said I would come back and let you guys know how everything's going with the new job, so here I am to fulfill that promise. ;)

I'm honestly very much enjoying life at the medical billing office. Which is odd. I never really thought I'd be into the medical or the billing side of things, but I am. I find it interesting. I'm constantly learning new things, challenging myself in the job, and generally trying to prove my worth amongst a bunch of people who have been there for years. After almost a month now, I think I'm doing that. A coworker told me that both her and my manager were talking about me, mentioning what a good job I was doing, how quick I was getting everything done and what a hard worker I was. This was REALLY nice to hear; it's always good to know that you ARE doing a good job at something you're working so hard at. :)

For the most part, all of my coworkers are great to work with. Truly nice, humorous ladies. I've gotten to know a few better than others and we're developing nice friendships. There are a couple of bad seeds in the mix but luckily I'm able to tell who. There are a couple who try to get me to do their work, as if I'm their secretary. (I'm not. :-p) One woman in particular was acting like that and giving me HER files to put away in the file area. That's not my job. I didn't pull the files, I didn't work with them -- she did, it's her responsibility to put them away. She'd put them in stacks, building and building, with a post-it saying "File" on it next to my desk. I just kept putting them over by the files (the files are in my office area) and leaving them for her. I walked in the other day and found them gone and put away; I have a feeling my manager finally got on her because they were done. Ha. Take that. LOL, what? I'm not gonna do other people's crap unless advised by my manager. TRUST ME, I have tons of my own work to do. I don't need other people's.

I'm currently working on scanning tons of EOBs (explaination of benefits) that never got done by my predecessor - all the way back from January. Keep in mind, this is taking forever and I get done maybe 6-7 days of EOBs in a day's work...or before I basically drop from standing at the scanning machine. :-p I'm also working on sorting and filing through paid claims from 2004-2006. I have 20 boxes of files to go through before some of my coworkers move into my office area and therefore won't have the room to get the job done. It will take awhile as well. So it's like, biatch, I have my own stuff to do that's more important than filing your stuff away! ;) Plus, I'm also doing quite a bit of computer work in the midst of all that too -- working on Medi-Cal adjustments (aka billing stuff). I'm not left wanting for projects; I always got some going on.

With that said, I am constantly working... but I am loving it. (Well, maybe minus the scanning. Simply because I want to kill people after 2 hours of standing there. lol) I like my coworkers. I like the work. I like the fact that I can do my stuff and not have a supervisor hovering over me every minute; these managers trust me to get my work done and they see it getting done at the end of the day. I like the little perks...like free sodas in the fridge (and not cheap imitation) or free popcorn in the pantry. I love having my own desk and office. I love being able to call it my own, have my own kleenex box, my own radio, my own pictures, all of it. Most of all, I love feeling appreciated...because they do appreciate me, as a person and a worker.

So did I make the right decision, you ask? Absolutely. God's hand was at work in all of this with the opportunity coming when it did through Missy. I am entirely thankful for her "in" because finding this type of work with only retail on your resume is very difficult. I should know; I tried to get this kind of work with only that on my resume a couple years ago. Now I feel like I am..."set" in a way. I'm getting such good experience here, I could go anywhere. Once I get some more AR work under my fingertips (I'm already doing some), I've been told that I will be "golden" to employers. I just feel good about it all - the job, the experience, the career opportunities. And I find myself surprised at how much I'm enjoying the medical billing field and wondering if it's something I could enjoy for a long period of time (aka if this could be a possible career field for me).

It's also such a blessing to know that they want me for more hours, if I'm willing to give them. I'm currently working 25 hours a week and I'm purposely keeping that open in case I want to return to school. (I've been researching that and trust me...that's a whole other post about what a headache that is.) But the beauty is that they would be happy to have me full-time, if I ever needed it. Most of the people there are full-time actually; it's more the norm. And they've got exceptional benefits - not just health, but dental, 401k with 3% match, vacation/sick pay, and a few other things I'm not remembering off the top of my head. It's already a blessing working there because myself or any family can get free MRIs, ultrasounds, bone density scans, etc.

Let alone that it's just nice to have the 4th of July off for once. That doesn't happen in retail. ;)

Speaking of retail, this whole idea I had about working both the office and Borders? LOL, the first night I came home from that? I believe my question to my mom was, "Who's stupid idea was it to do this?" and she was like, "Uhhhhhhhhh...." LOL. ;) And yes, my mom had a total "told you so" moment and I agreed with her...but I mainly wanted to see if I could do it, because there were a few reasons why I didn't want to let go of Borders. The main reason was because of the friends I've made there that I like to "run into" at work and chat with.

However, after that first time doing it, I realized very quickly this wasn't going to work. It's one thing to work full-time somewhere...you have 8 hours a day and you're done. It's a whole other thing to have 2 jobs, because you can end up working 11-12 hours a day. *pauses* All I can say is that I didn't think of that factor...and if I had, I probably would not have done it.

I was entirely exhausted that first week of doing that schedule (I didn't have to the first 2 weeks of work at the office because Borders didn't schedule me at all) - I just couldn't get my body to catch up and I was certainly not getting enough sleep. I'd come home from a closing shift, be wired physically from the work, and not be able to get to sleep till 12:30 or 1:00...wake up at 6:30am, and yeah, you could say I was just kind of beaten. I didn't want to make a decision though when I was so tired so I waited till I got to sleep lots on the weekend to think it all through and be in a better state of mind.

Ultimately I decided though, there was no point in staying at Borders. I could get the hours at the office if I needed it. I get paid better there. The work isn't exhausting. It just...there was no point. Even for keeping in touch with the friendships I had there.

So when I went in for my shift on Wednesday night, I spoke with a manager and put in my 2 weeks notice. I let them know that the reason I was leaving was less about the job (heck, I did try to keep it remember) and more about how physically exhausted I was. I just couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to try to do it, but I tried it and it didn't work for me. He absolutely understood... I also offered my hours up to whoever truly needed it the next week (I was scheduled), because I know what it's like to have Borders be your only job...and see someone with another job getting the hours you so desperately need. I wanted them to have my hours. (Truly. I wasn't BSing here.) He even said he'd just gotten done cutting 200 hours that day from the schedule. So he went about arranging it and was able to give my hours to people who truly needed it. I was really happy about that - for them and for me too, I won't lie, it will be nice not to be exhausted for once. LOL, even Jon noticed just how loopy I was by 9:30 that night. I was so out of it and he was like, "OMG, you look horrible" and laughing at me every single time he saw me. I was like, "Gee thanks Jon." LOL. ;) I told him, "This is why I'm quitting! I can't handle this crap!" He just laughed and laughed and laughed. He was like, "You're right, you so can't." lol ;)

So yes, my time at Borders is coming to an end. It was weird leaving that night, knowing it might be my last night working there. (Or I could be scheduled the 2nd week of my notice, who knows.) There was happiness... there was some sadness, leaving my friends... but most of all? *smiles* There was a sense of pride. The good kind of pride. Pride that I'd accomplished everything I'd wanted to accomplish by working there. And pride in that I had managed to stay there for the last 6 months, even when conditions were so bleak...that I stuck it out because it was important to me to do so. I could leave with a smile on my face because I knew I'd done it...I'd proven to myself things that I can't even put into words.

So thank you, Borders...for the amazing things you did for my life the past year. And thank you to my new job, because I see all the potential I have because of you.

And there is the graphic novel W i l l was begging for. Blame him. ;)

Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: Slide -- Goo Goo Dolls

It's been a few months... I'd say it's definitely time for some new Joslyn pictures on my website, wouldn't you? :)

BabyGirl is soon going to be 10 months old (wow, time goes by way too quickly sometimes)...and it's been a few months since the last update. She is now standing, can walk with the help of a couple of extra hands :), and likes to travel along the coffee table. In our most recent babysitting visit on Thursday, she was WAY hyper and wouldn't stay still in our arms. And if it was nap time, she gave me dagger eyes the whole time she was in my arms until she fell asleep, hehe.

Anyways, so yes...there are pictures. There are even, God help me, videos. I must be mad. :-p

Feel free to go take a lookie. :) Website Update Here

I'll come back when it's not 1:00am in the morning sometime and talk about how my new job's been going and such. No, really, I will. :-p

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: "Feel This" by Bethany Joy Galeotti (featuring Enation)

Tonight, my beautiful dog Penny went to Heaven.

Obviously I'm not here to ask for prayer for her at this point, but...I do ask that you please keep myself, my mom, and the rest of my family in your prayers and/or thoughts.

This has just been crappy timing all around. My dad literally left today to go up to Oregon for my Uncle Ron's funeral (tomorrow is the service - he died almost 2 weeks ago). My mom and I stayed behind because of finances...thank God we did because I don't think we would have ever forgiven ourselves if Penny had died without any of her family here. And also, my brother left today as well to go to Washington DC for a trip planned a few months in advance.

So it was literally just me and my mom here... still is. I was at work tonight and she called halfway through...she told me Penny was throwing up and refusing to come inside and that she thought she was dying. I came home immediately, and yeah...it didn't look good. It got worse throughout the next couple of hours, and then she passed away...with both my mom and I at her side, encouraging her to let go.

Penny's my girl...been "my dog" for the last 14 years. I literally called her my precious gift from God (treasure of my heart, sunshine of heavenly light, lol the list keeps going). I can't begin to describe the words for how much I'm going to miss her...and my mom the same too. We're both having a very hard time with it tonight...we're going to try to go to sleep here in a minute.

Tomorrow we're going to see if the vet will take her body or if we have to do something else with it. It's very...eerie seeing Penny laying down the hall, like she's asleep, but we know she's not. We just covered her with a blanket a moment ago before going to bed...but it's just...it's hard. Please pray that everything works out and goes smoothly for us tomorrow with her body, because saying goodbye is hard enough as it is.

I really feel like quite a few punches have been thrown my way lately, including two deaths - one not as close and now one very close to me. I also ask for prayer for God to help me not harden my heart...to keep trusting and believing that He's taking care of me and the people I love. This is the moment when I tend to close down, harden up, go numb, cease to be me...and after the fight for "me" the past 11 months, I really don't want to return to that place. So I also ask that you please pray for me in that regard. And please pray for my mom...she's so sad...so depressed. Almost scarily so. Please pray for God to give her comfort and help her to feel safe.

Thank you...I don't know what else to say. But here's a picture of my girl, Penny, to part with...

~Keri

Current Mood: crushed

Hey everyone. :)

I just wanted to make a quick post to let you all know that I have updated my website with some pictures. Of course, there are a lot of new pictures of my niece, Joslyn. She's looking absolutely adorable as ever. hehe I also included some pictures from my mom's Songster pianist retirement dinner that are really nice...as the evening meant a lot to all of us in the family. :)

Unfortunately, no...no quote update. Quite frankly, I don't have enough quotes to DO a quote update. You guys need to speak up more. (Except for Julie. And Becker. They do a decent amount of providing quotage. ;))

Anyways, feel free to click HERE to go take a look at the pictures. :) Thanks. :)

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Hanging By a Moment -- Lifehouse

Borders was just plain cruel to me this morning. My GM called at 6:50am and woke my parents (and me) up... to ask me to come in for a 9am shift. I agreed because hours are always of the good, but of course I couldn't get back to sleep after that. So I think I got 5 hours total last night.

Don't forget that tonight is Spring Forward savings time! I did. I wouldn't have known if work didn't say something before I left, lol. ;)

But so yes, I have a point to this post:

I got lectured today by a customer about needing to have proper manners.

*blink* *blinks some more*

No, you read right. Sweet little Keri got lectured on manners. lol Honestly, I really am one of the most polite employees in the store...and not sickeningly so, just honest, genuine kindness type of thing. So I found this lecture very amusing. ;)

What was the lecture for? I apparently did not help the people waiting at Info in the correct order. She was first and I helped someone else. Of course, I didn't know that since my face was in a computer and my back was to the customers the whole time as they surrounded me. She could have spoke up but didn't (most people do and it's not a big deal). I swear I wasn't even gone with the other customer for more than 30 seconds either... but this lady still pulled me aside (literally) and lectured me. I told her the truth of that I didn't realize she was next in line and didn't see her, but she still went off. So I simply apologized and asked her what she needed help with and the rest is history.

But seriously. She literally said as she pulled me aside, "Young lady, I think I need to inform you on proper manners." She wasn't more than 40, so don't think it's some weird elderly thing either!

Ah yes, Borders customers. How I love you so.

I just had to share because this really did amuse me - I couldn't even get mad about it! lol ;)

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Stay (Wasting Time) - Dave Matthews Band

My mom's dinner was absolutely beautiful...there's no other way to put it...it was simply beautiful.

For those who didn't catch it in my last post, my mom was thrown a retirement dinner/party for being the Songster pianist for the last 50 years. She started playing when she was only 12 years old and has been rocking it ever since. Granted, the retirement was not of her own choice...but nonetheless she was able to enjoy the dinner that was thrown for her.

It was truly beautiful. Stacie did a lot of the flowers/decorations (which if you knew her stuff, it's always amazing). Martin (the Songster leader) got the catering group that does all the Tournament of Roses (the Rose Parade) functions... which oh my gosh, the food was so good. They had chicken, roast beef, roasted potatoes, salad, veggies, and cheesecake for dessert. Honestly, I was totally into the food. I ate everything on my plate. I went in expecting to be my picky, normal self and need food after the whole shindig was done, but nope, I enjoyed it so much. ;)

Martin spoke a lot...as well as Bill (our former Songster leader), a Songster that's been with her for the whole 50 years, and my brother Keith. Keith spoke on behalf of the family, so to speak. My mom had asked me if I wanted to speak but that she felt Keith should as the oldest...so I said if he didn't want to, I would be happy to. Keith said yes, so he was the one to get up there. I swear, he wasn't even up there for more than 30 seconds before my mom started sobbing. She got control of herself a minute in, but there were moments when she cried which honestly...she has every right to let those emotions show.

*laughs* The best part of the night was when they showed a video picture collage and they'd literally made up this awesome song for her. It was so funny...and also touching at the same time. I know we were all shocked by the fact that they made a song just for her.

We also sang "Carry the Light" at the end of the night, with Mom on the piano, Keith on the bass, and my cousin Kevin on the drums...good ol' family show like the old days. It's ironic because that was the first time I've sung with Songster music in front of me in probably 6 years or so. I was able to pick up the song and sing my alto part as if I'd just done it yesterday. Was nice to see I still have it. ;) Was also nice to see that my mom still has it too...she played wonderfully. You could tell she was in her element and very much enjoying it. And when it was over, you could tell that she was sad that it was.

I will admit that I got teary and choked up a few times during the dinner. Mainly because I know how much this all means to her...how much her playing means to her, as well as the Songsters.

Keith talked about commitment...and how because of her playing every Wednesday and every Sunday...and going on all the tours, doing the recordings, all of it...she taught us the meaning of commitment. And that is so true. Him speaking about that actually made me appreciate more his commitment to Impact (the contemporary service he and Missy run on Fridays)...and it made me appreciate the commitment towards certain things and people in my own heart. It's because of her example that I am the woman I am today in a lot of regards.

Truth be told, I'm getting a little choked up as I write this. Whew, breeeeathe.

Those are days all of us as a family can't get back...when we were all a part of the Songsters and all got to experience that. My dad is too sick to be in the Songsters, my brother left because he was tired of it, and I left a long time ago because of my anxiety issues and just haven't gone back. My mom now sings beside my aunt Judy, and it is nice to watch them sing together...something that has never occurred before.

I truly love my mom with all my heart. She deserves happiness...and she deserves to feel like she has a calling and that God is leading her somewhere. I really do hope and pray that as this door closes, He will open up another one for her. Because the light and spark she got from playing is something that I really hope she doesn't lose.

And overall, I am just truly touched (as if she) by this dinner that the Songsters planned for her. The love was overwhelming. It warmed my heart to see so many Songsters and even her work colleagues come out in force to appreciate her. I hope this is something that stays with her for a long time.

Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: That's What Love is For -- Amy Grant

I am a happy girl this morning.

Why is that?

Because due to my mom's pianist retirement dinner tonight and the fact that it's fancy schmanzy, I had to look into the depths of my closet for something to wear. This scared me. Because the last time I tried on a few outfits, they did not fit. This was for interviews back in Texas. And when I say "did not fit", I mean really did not fit.

With fear, I tried on an outfit I haven't been able to wear since Jerri and Todd's wedding in November of 2005...a very nice black pants and fitted lavender shirt.

It fit!

I could put it on and I could even put on all these other nice work/interview shirts that had gone by the wayside because of my frickin PCOS and subsequent weight gain. I actually have CHOICES for tonight! I can wear whatever I want. *bounce bounce*

Yes, this has totally given me a happy. I used to look at pictures from that wedding and think, "Man, I looked good...if only I could get back down to that weight." Hee! Guess what? I look that good again! Like I said, totally gives me a happy. :)

I've been at a weight plateau for a couple of months now, but haven't gained at all (which really is a really good thing considering PCOS - even maintaining what I've lost shows it's not running me)...but who knows about what I've lost in inches. A couple of months ago, I bought new jeans because my old ones were well old, and too big. I was able to buy a size down and now even those jeans feel a bit loose. Yay.

I'll talk more about my mom's Songster pianist retirement dinner later...after we've gone and everything. It should be a really wonderful occasion. :)

Current Mood: bouncy

I had the weirdest, messed up dream last night. I woke up from it around 4:30am going, "WTF?!?"

Let's just say oh...

It ended with me one by one shooting each New Kids on the Block member in the head.

Except for Danny. I spared Danny.

...

WTF?!?! LOL. I feel like I had a Julie dream. ;)

For the record, Danny was always my least favorite NKOTB member... *cough* I mean, seriously. What the heck. Sometimes I wonder about what in the world is possibly going through my subconscious to come out in my dreams, lol.

I have a feeling this is going to end up being the most random post too.

Some guy tried to steal $900 worth of DVD boxsets from Borders tonight. I wish I could say I saved the day but I was up at the registers unable to play spy with the rest of the sellers and supervisors. ;) Apparently he was carrying around this shopping bag of dvd boxsets...a seller approached him, asking if he needed any help...he mumbled and walked away and left the shopping bag. At that point, a supervisor walked over and picked up the shopping bag and took it back to Info. Afterwards, the supervisor approached the guy asking if he needed help. The shoplifter mumbled and went up to the register...didn't buy anything and walked right through the line and out. Totally caught! Mwahahahaha! (Yes, I know I act like it was my own personal catch, shut up. lol)

And ya know, I'd be way more random but...I think I'm way too tired for that. Work wore me out tonight - I think it was the fact that I had no lunch break and basically did 5 hours straight (most of which were at Reg). So I am one tired cookie.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Sleep is good.

Dear God, I am turning into Julie.

*runs and ducks from the impending Julie doom* :D

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Heaven -- Bryan Adams

That's right, it's that time again. :)

I decided with the new year, it was time to make a nice, big, new update for ya'll. So what have I got for you behind door number one?

A quote update!

What do I have behind door number two?

Joslyn pictures!

Enough to entice you to visit? Then please do. And enjoy. ;)

Keri's Website Update You Know You Wanna See

;)

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Wanna Be Where You Are - M2M